A few months ago, news of an unusually expensive bullet-proof shirt hit the internet. Designed for the dangerously wealthy, the anti-ballistic polo shirt took the concept of personal security to a new level. The shirt was from high-end clothes provider Caballero and retailed for around $12,000 – a price that, literally, you can probably pay to someone from a third-world country to take a bullet intended for you!

Around a year before that, a more moderately priced bullet-proof hoodie began retailing for around $900. It was much more affordable than a Caballero but then, again, they were obviously working for disparate markets.

The Caballero was a polo shirt – one you can wear with a nice pair of slacks and driving shoes. You can, presumably, play golf wearing it or join a yachting tournament without feeling out of place. The hoodie, on the other hand, is pretty much the neighborhood gangster’s threads. If I was a wealthy South American cocaine warlord, I certainly wouldn’t want to be caught dead in a travesty like that!

As far as I can recall, both outfits claimed to sufficiently protect you from a 9 mm pistol. That is actually a likely weapon for the kind of threats a gangbanging neighborhood teenager will face. A major player in international cartels? Not likely. For $12,000, I expect to have sufficient protection from a bazooka or at least a sufficiently powerful automatic.

It would be nice to have one of those linen-fabric Caballero shirts though. If ladies are watching, I might even pay someone to shoot me with a 9 mm. “Look girls, I’m Superman!”